


To Wherever the Wind Takes Me

by deluxemycroft



Series: Ouroboros [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (in general and also to his friends), Asgard, Cultural Differences, M/M, Mind Reading, Non-Sexual Submission, Service Submission, Submission, beginnings of telepathy, discussions of bodily autonomy, loki being kind of terrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-06 15:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18854272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deluxemycroft/pseuds/deluxemycroft
Summary: Loki took back.





	To Wherever the Wind Takes Me

**Author's Note:**

> this takes place a few weeks after on&on ends
> 
> alternative summary: loki pretends to know what he's doing with his life

He had never been free before, not like this.

No longer was he tied to Thor. No longer did he suffer under his King’s rule, no longer was he tied to the one who had been so unkind to him, had killed him countless times. The murderous king, betrayed. 

Loki rested his head on Steve’s knee. The time under his Captain’s rule was so enlightening, so eye-opening. He needed to be taken to heel, needed someone to own him. But he saw now how kind it could he, how he did not need his submission forced into him. He could give of himself freely and still feel as if he was his own. His Captain never took advantage, never forced him. So very kind. He still barely understood it. 

It had only been few weeks since he had ripped himself from Thor. His seidr still felt raw and skinned, but it was calming and healing under Steve’s kind hands. His Captain was so good to him. He swam in calmness. His seidr did not act out, did not feel on the edge of out of control. It was such a novel feeling, and all due to his dearest Captain. 

He murmured Steve’s name and gentle fingers brushed along his jaw. Green eyes fluttered open and met warm blue. 

“I feel...content,” Loki admitted, his voice quiet. “It is a strange thing for me to experience.”

Steve tugged at his arm and Loki obliged him, slithering up Steve’s legs and torso and straddling his thighs. Warm hands settled around his hips, fingers slipping under his shirt to pet gently at his skin. “What now?” Steve asked, keeping his voice low. Loki slid his arms around Steve’s neck, twining his fingers in Steve’s short hair. 

Loki smirked at him and leaned close, pressing their mouths together, tugging gently at Steve’s hair. Steve moaned, letting Loki push him against the back of the couch, mouth falling open. Loki settled higher on Steve’s thighs, slowly moving his mouth against Steve’s, their tongues and mouths sliding together slowly and comfortably. 

He had never fit so well with someone. There was comfort between them even in just calm kissing, no threat in the way Steve’s hands slid over his back, no potential harm in the tongue moving over his own or the teeth that did not threaten to bite him or harm him. There was no edge, no place he feared would cut him. Steve was so very kind to him. 

Steve tugged away first, a few minutes or an hour later. He had lost track of time in the warm depths of his Captain’s mouth. Steve panted for a moment and then glanced behind him. “Maybe we should move to the bedroom,” he muttered, and one arm slid underneath Loki’s ass and he pushed to his feet, easily lifting the god. 

“I know what you’re up to even if you’re in bed!” Clint called out from the guest bedroom. He’d refused to leave after Loki had returned from Asgard. Steve groaned and dropped Loki to his feet. He rubbed at his swollen mouth and gave Loki a regretful look before ducking into the kitchen to drink an entire glass of ice water. Loki merely rolled his eyes. His Captain was so very honorable. He refused to engage with Loki in any sexual acts whenever Clint was nearby, or whenever he was reminded of the bond between he and Loki. So very boring. 

He thought about going into the bathroom and masturbating, but Clint yanked open the door to the guest bedroom and pointed at him. “Don’t you dare,” he demanded. Loki raised an eyebrow at him. “Every time you jerk off it feels like I’m jerking myself off. Not happening.”

Steve closed his eyes and prayed that he could somehow vanish out of the apartment and away from the conversation. 

“I don’t particularly enjoy being told what to do with my own body,” Loki replied, sitting back down on the couch and crossing his legs. Clint glared at him. 

“I’m all twisted up in your head,” Clint told him. “ _Sir_. I should have some say—”

“Barton,” Steve interrupted. “Nobody is going to tell him what to do. It’s a complicated situation, I get that, but he just tore himself away from Thor. It’s not up to anyone what he does with his own body.”

Clint crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s not just his own body anymore. I know every single thought he say, feel what he feels, all of that nonsense. I don’t get a say in what happens to my body because of what he does? How does that work?”

Steve thought about it for a few moments before shaking his head. “I don’t know, Barton. But I’m telling you right now, nobody tells Loki what to do.”

Clint looked back at Loki and rolled his eyes. “Stop feeling so smug, you insufferable creep. Start thinking of a way to figure this out.”

Loki smiled at him. “What would you have me do? Schedule my sex life? Check in with you before I kiss my Captain?” Steve rubbed at the back of his neck and got another glass of cold water. “I take no interest in your discomfort, Clint. You know me better than to bring this up. What is your goal here? To have my Captain stop being affectionate? Halt every physical aspect of our relationship?” He pretended to think about it for a moment. “Jealousy, then? Do you miss your wife? You could simply travel home, of course. Neither Steve nor I have asked you to stay. Do you wish to be in one of our places?”

“You’re no better than Thor, sir,” Clint interrupted. He regretted his words immediately and winced at himself, dropping his gaze to the floor before looking up at Loki. 

Loki’s lips tightened and he merely pushed to his feet, walking quickly into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Steve rubbed at his brow. “Barton,” he groaned. “You dumbass.”

“Yeah, Cap,” Clint replied faintly, copying Steve’s action as Loki’s emotions overwhelmed him. “I get that.” He wavered and staggered to lean against the door jamb. 

Steve took another moment to shake his head and calm himself down before going into the guest bedroom. He helped Clint to the couch. He hated how the mood in the apartment had changed so quickly. Just a few minutes ago, he and Loki had been swamped in warmth and pleasure and Clint had to get up in the middle of it for some reason. He thought about it for a moment and dropped to the couch next to the archer, both of them letting out frustrated sighs. 

“How bad is it?” Steve finally asked. “He was in my head twice for about five minutes a couple years ago. I can’t...it’s unimaginable to me what that would be like constantly.”

“It’s fine most of the time,” Clint grunted out, eyes squeezed shut, rubbing at his tense forehead. “I just get...fed up with him sometimes. I can’t turn it off, you know. He’s just...there, all the time. Sometimes he overwhelms my own thoughts. I can’t tell myself from him. There’s no getting away from him. I just wanted it quiet.”

“What’s he thinking now?”

Clint sighed. “He’s pissed. Really pissed. He knows I can’t help it, which he’s struggling with. He has a big thing with consent, which he never really talks about. But it’s big. He...he panics sometimes, because his version of consent is so twisted up and so different than anyone else’s that he can’t figure out if he’s doing something of his own free will or not.” He sighed and leaned his head back against the couch. “Huh, talking about it helps. It kind of smooths it all out in my head.”

“I’m always willing to listen,” Steve offered, and Clint shot him an amused look. 

“I’m sure, Cap. I’m an open book into Loki’s closed off mind. I’m the only way you’re ever going to figure him out.”

“Hey now,” Steve replied, a bit offended. “He tells me enough. He’s not _that_ mysterious. We’re teammates, Barton. We gotta lean on each other.”

Clint moved so he was leaning against the arm of the couch, bringing his legs up and tucking them underneath himself. “Fine, then, Cap. You start. Lean on me.”

Steve thought for a minute. He looked at his hands and cleared his throat. He thought for another minute. “I...don’t really know.”

“Christ, Cap. How about this? You tell me one thing, I tell you one thing. Back and forth.”

He nodded. “I’ll go first. Well, I don’t...know how to lean on anyone, I guess. That’s all I got.” He cleared his throat again and looked away from Clint, who was trying very hard not to roll his eyes and stay supportive. Steve was almost completely incapable of opening up to anyone that wasn’t Loki, and he rarely went deeper than skin-deep with Loki as it was. 

“Alright, guess that’s good.” 

Before Clint could continue, Loki yanked open the bedroom door, swooped in, and grabbed Clint by the back of the neck. He yanked the archer to his feet and dragged him through the dimensions. They landed in a small apartment, Loki throwing Clint to the floor. He looked around and groaned. They were in Bucky’s apartment. 

“Sir?” Bucky asked, coming out of his own bedroom. He looked like their arrival had pulled him out of his sleep. Clint slowly pushed to his feet, looking warily between the soldier and Loki, who had his arms crossed and was looking murderous. 

Loki raised an eyebrow at Bucky. “Kill him,” he ordered, motioning at Clint. He bared his teeth slowly at Clint. “Oh, you’re not going anywhere. _Stay_.”

Clint froze, swallowing thickly as he looked between the two of them.

“Sir?” Bucky repeated, fists tightening. 

“You heard me, Sergeant. Kill him.”

Bucky shook his head. “I’m not going to kill him, sir.” He pushed his hair off his face and took a step back. “I don’t...know what this is, but I’m not having any part of it. I’m not killing him.”

“I can make you,” Loki offered, a sly smile on his lips. “I can make it easy. He won’t even move.”

Clint groaned. “This is all because I said you’re like Thor, you asshole,” he grumbled, and was able to lift a hand to rub at his forehead. “I didn’t mean it.”

Bucky raised his hands and slowly backed into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Loki frowned and then turned to Clint. “You were terribly rude,” Loki offered, leaning his hip against the back of his couch. “I have every right to punish you.”

“Do you?” Clint shot back. “Just because—”

“I _own_ you,” Loki interrupted, slipping forward and looming menacingly over Clint, who stayed his ground and lifted his chin. Loki sneered at him. “You know what that means. Neither of us have any choice in this. I cannot break it. You were the one who brought it to my attention, if you’ll remember. You wanted to be _honorable_ and inform me, which means this is your fault.”

“Sir…”

“Shut up. You belong to me. I own every single bit of you, even more than I have ever been owned. You enjoy it. Yet you fight against it. But no longer.” He frowned and stepped back, thinking for a moment. He turned away from Clint and flicked a hand to open Bucky’s bedroom door. He walked forward and sighed.

Bucky sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands.

“Is that all I’m good for?” he asked, his voice torn. “Just a killer?”

“My dear…” Loki started, but Clint interrupted him.

“You know it’s not, man. Come on. It was just a spur of the moment thing. Loki’s a jerk but not _that_ big of an asshole.”

“Hey!”

Bucky snorted and dropped his hands, shaking his head. “It was a pretty shitty thing to do, sir,” he told Loki, who rolled his eyes.

“Yes, yes, I’m terrible,” Loki replied, waving his hand. “Now, Clint and I have something to take care of.” He stepped back up to the archer and clasped the back of his neck. Loki inclined his head to Bucky and they disappeared. Bucky shook his head and went back to bed. 

They reappeared in a lavish room. Clint tugged out of Loki’s grasp and blinked a few times, mouth falling open. “We’re in Asgard,” he realized. “These are your old quarters.”

Loki nodded, already moving his hands and summoning some of his valuables. He threw an Aesir outfit at Clint, who quickly caught it and disrobed, pulling the clothes on. They shrunk to fit him and he stretched a few times, seeing how the armor allowed him freedom of movement and protection against physical harm. He wore Loki’s colors of black and green but they were in more of Thor’s style, with the scaled arms and tight leather pants. At least he didn’t have to wear a cape. 

Loki pulled an Aesir bow and a quiver out of a pocket dimension, Clint coming over to test the weight of the draw and the quality of the arrows. He nodded and slung the quiver over his back and smoothed his fingers down the length of the bow. It was black with dark gold scrolling along the curves. It was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen. “You made this for me?” he asked into the quiet between them, his voice soft. “Sir, I don’t deserve this.”

“You don’t,” Loki agreed, levitating an entire bookcase full of books into a pocket dimension. He had already changed from his comfortable Midgardian clothes into more austere Aesir clothes, all black leather with touches of gold and green. He wore knee-high boots with heavy padding on the thighs, and his tunic was thick with wrist guards and cushioning over his stomach and chest. It was not an outfit that a King would wear in his own home. He was preparing for a fight, with Thor or otherwise. Clint nodded to himself and rolled his shoulders. 

The room was quickly picked clean of whatever Loki thought was valuable, and they exited, the two of them stalking down the hall towards the royal wing. Strangely enough, the palace was mostly empty. They had not encountered a single guard or a palace worker. Loki shot Clint a confused look as they walked up a long flight of stairs. 

There were two guards stationed outside of the entrance to the royal wing. Both of the Eirhenjar glanced at each other and stiffened up as Loki approached them. “Sire,” they said at the same time. Neither of them acknowledged Clint.

“Is Thor in our chambers?” Loki queried, waving his hand so the doors opened. One of the Eirhenjar shook his head.

“No, Sire, he has been in the healing wing for nearly a week.”

Loki hid his smile and the two of them ducked into the royal chambers. Clint whistled with appreciation as he looked around. “I’ve seen it before, sir, but you really live a different life.”

Loki rolled his eyes. He pointed Clint towards his jewelry box and handed him a small cloth bag. Clint obliged, opening the various drawers and dumping them into the bag, which never grew heavier or full. Loki went to his closet, picking out which furs and clothes he wished to take with him. The two of them worked in silence for a few minutes.

“Are you gonna miss it here?” Clint asked. Loki wasn’t particularly feeling anything other than amusement at Thor being in the healing wing and a bit of fear that Thor was going to find them.

Loki shook his head. He didn’t even have to think about it. “I am far happier on Midgard, as much as I am pained to admit.” He closed the closet door and went to the massive bed that dominated the room. He took a few furs from it and then summoned his books. Clint finished taking the jewels and handed Loki the bag, moving back and waiting out of the way in parade rest, eyes on the hallway. The two Einherjar were still at their post. 

Loki finished up quickly, taking a few vials and containers from the bathroom, and then he tugged Clint along with him as he swept out of the royal chambers. They had one more stop to make and then Loki would never have to go back to Asgard again. There was a vague thought in Loki’s mind of the library, and Clint questioned it. 

Loki finally shook his head as they went down a few flights of stairs and into another part of the palace. This part of the palace was vast and open, with wide hallways with massive windows looking out over the great sea and letting in the sunlight. It shone off the gold walls and the brightly shined floors. “I believe I have copied or read nearly every book there.” He thought about it for a moment and shook his head, stopping at a massive set of doors inset with Asgardian runes. He tapped on the door and the two of them waited. “I merely abhor leaving my brother with such a wealth of knowledge. He has shown himself to far more dangerous than I expected.”

The door swung open and a tall Aesir woman stood there. Loki smiled at her. “Boda,” he greeted, and she blinked briefly in shock before smiling at him and welcoming them inside. 

“Regent Loki,” she said, and she frowned at Clint, who just nodded at her. “A Midgardian?”

“A bodyguard,” Loki replied, looking around the jewelry maker’s shop with a frown on his face. It was a vast room, with various tables of all sizes and heights around the room. There were gems and various pieces of jewelry and weapons on the tables, with small handheld lights on each table. There were massive cabinets along each wall, interspersed with drawers of various sizes. “I have come for my jewels and my furs.” He turned to her and cleared his throat when she was still looking at Clint. “Is there something stopping you?”

“King Thor requested that no Midgardians be allowed on Asgard,” Boda informed him, finally turning away from Clint, schooling the faintly disgusted look off her face.

“I was on Midgard for over a year,” Loki replied, one eyebrow raised. “I do not know every decree that was passed in my absence.” Boda finally nodded and apologized, moving to a cabinet and unlocking it with a key that she kept on a string around her neck. 

“The jewels and gems were all finished nearly a year ago, your Highness,” she said, pulling out a large tray and carrying it to the closest table. She gently set it down and went to a large cabinet, picking up a massive bag and bringing it to the same table, laying it down next to the shelf. Loki swept over, pulling his jewelry bag out of a pocket dimension. As always, she had done impeccable work. There were a few pieces of royal jewelry that had been reworked into more of Loki’s liking, and he picked up a few of the brooches and thin rings and delicate bracelets and necklaces. He smiled at them and picked through them, picking up his favorites and putting them in his bag. She had also polished and reshaped the rough gems that Thor had brought for him, and Loki took all of them.

Once he was finished, she inclined her head and pulled the bag off the massive bear fur that Thor had brought for him so long ago. It had been cleaned and the edges hemmed with gold thread, and the clasp was made out of emeralds. She had made the bear’s head into a hood and lined it with the same gold thread and small diamonds. “Truly lovely work,” Loki murmured, slipping the fur over his shoulders, sliding his hands down it and closing the clasp. It fit him perfectly.

“Does your Highness request anything else of me?”

Loki’s head swung around and he narrowed his eyes at her. Near the door, Clint stiffened.

“Boda,” Loki said quietly, dangerously. She swallowed. “I have known you for many years, and you have never acted so...afraid of me.”

“It is said that you threw Thor off the Bifrost,” she whispered, stepping around the table so that it was between the two of them. Her voice strengthened as she spoke. “Heimdall found him before he could fall into the Void.” Ah. Pity. “Is it true, your Highness?”

Loki glanced behind him at Clint, who had an arrow already nocked and pointed at the Einherjar who were coming down the hall towards them. He smiled. “It is true,” he acknowledged, moving quickly backwards so he was close to Clint. He summoned the dagger she had made for him with the massive ruby in the hilt and flipped it up in his hands. “I only wish Heimdall had let him fall.”

“How could you!” Boda hissed. “He has always taken care of you, always cared for you!”

Loki merely shook his head and continued to smile. “So naive,” he told her. “Thor tortured me for _centuries_. Perhaps you should ask him of the spell he cast? It is a great one, so very _dangerous_. Ask the Mad King of how many times he brought Mjolnir down upon me!”

“Loki!” someone roared from the hallway, and Clint let loose with his arrow, immediately firing with a few more. They landed on the shields of the Einherjar, right behind the council members that were heading the force coming down the hall. Loki spun around and moved out into the hallway, holding his arms out to the side. “You are being charged with treason,” the council member told him. “Your Midgardian...bodyguard, you said? It will be killed.”

“Treason, you say?” Loki pretended to think about it. “Surely I should be heralded instead. I suffered under Thor’s rule for over a thousand years, and when I could take it no longer, I am to be imprisoned? He killed me, you know. Thor is the murderer, not I.”

The council member shook his head. “He told us of the spell he cast. He said it was _your_ idea, Loki.” Loki stiffened in rage and Clint bared his teeth. “He told us all about your so-called seidrmadr-anchor bond, how you forced him to hurt you, how you threatened your own parents if he didn’t do what you wanted. He told us everything.”

“Is that so,” Loki said, and he reached out for Clint, who obediently went to him, Loki’s hand sliding over the back of his neck.

They reappeared at the end of the Bifrost, just outside the Observatory.

“Sir,” Clint tried, but Loki merely shook his head, turning back to look up at the great expanse of Asgard behind them. 

“He lies,” Loki hissed, long fingers curling into fists. “He will have them hunt me down and he will find me again and he will tie me to him again and I will never be free. I will never know freedom.”

Before Clint could reply, a voice from behind them had them both whipping around, weapons at the ready. 

Heimdall stood before them, gold eyes bright as he looked sorrowfully at Loki. “Thor lies,” Heimdall agreed. “I have seen everything of which you speak, Loki.”

“All-Seer,” Loki snarled. “He will kill me, and you will bring him right to my door.”

“Sir, don’t!” Clint told him, moving in between Heimdall and Loki when Loki started to advance. “You can’t kill a Gatekeeper.” Loki snarled again but nodded, stepping back and turning his attention to Clint. He calmed himself down enough to look back at Heimdall without wanting to kill him. 

“They will have a trial,” Loki said. “I will never return to Asgard. If you saw everything, even Thor’s spell, then you know what I have suffered.” Heimdall nodded slowly. “I should kill him,” he hissed, turning back to glare at the palace. “I had the chance so many times but I was too cowardly. I should have broken the bridge and ripped his heart out.”

Clint nodded in agreement.

Heimdall stepped out of their path as Loki’s attention was drawn back to the Bifrost. “I cannot commit treason,” Heimdall told them, and slowly, his fingers released the hilt of Hofund, which clattered loudly to the ground. He stepped away from it and closed his eyes. “My loyalty is to the throne,” he informed them. Loki nodded as he knelt to pick up Hofund. “There was no command to keep you in Asgard.” He turned his back to them and Loki frowned, a brief thought of thanking the man crossing his mind before he heard the march of the Einherjar on the bridge.

He quickly put Hofund into the Bifrost and right before he called Clint’s name, Clint told Heimdall that they were both grateful to him. The Watcher inclined his head.

With a pull and a twist of the sword, the Bifrost carried them to Earth.

* * *

They landed in one of Loki’s other safehouses. Loki threw his bear fur to the floor and snarled, pacing the small room. It was another tiny apartment, even smaller than Bucky’s, with only one tiny room connected to a bathroom and a miniscule kitchen. He only got six long paces along the long wall before he had to turn back. Clint shook his head and dropped into the only chair in the room. 

“Did he know?” Loki whispered to himself. “Did he expect I would betray him? How long did he spread the seed of my discontent within the council?”

“He had over a year to tell them whatever he wanted,” Clint pointed out. “I didn’t believe that whole ‘protection’ gambit of his for a second. He had to know you wouldn’t just sit idly by while practically being exiled from Asgard.”

“There was nothing!” Loki shouted, turning on him. “Nothing!”

“He had, what, over a couple thousand years of redoing that spell of his? Surely he knows how’d you react to literally any situation at this point.” Loki shuddered at that. 

“They said that I _asked_ him,” Loki finally said softly, and Clint rushed to his feet, helping Loki to the chair. Loki leaned against Clint once he was sitting. “It was _endless_. None would ask for what Thor did to me.” He shook his head and Clint gently pet through his hair. 

The two of them sat in quiet for a few more minutes before Loki gathered himself up again and rapidly paged through their possibilities. He finally pushed to his feet and paced up and down the wall a few times before turning and looking at Clint, who merely waited.

“He is going to come for me,” Loki realized. “He will spend the rest of our lives hunting me. I have to run.”

It was Clint’s instinct to tell him that he would go with him, but then he stayed himself. “I should stay,” he finally said. “I can keep Cap up to date on what you’re doing. He’ll get the Avengers ready and we’ll all help you.”

“My Captain,” Loki said quietly, coming to a dead stop. “I leave and Thor will come for him.”

Clint lifted his chin and clenched his jaw. “He’ll have to go through me.”

Loki’s eyes softened and he turned to the archer, gently setting his hand on Clint’s jaw. “My dear,” he murmured. “Such heart.”

He turned away and froze as Clint replied, “It’s yours, you know. Everything I got, it’s yours.” Loki nodded and pulled the ruby dagger out of his seidr-pockets. He ran his fingers over it and green seidr flickered down the blade, carving in deep. Clint came around him and held out his hand. Loki pressed the dagger into his palm. “He won’t get Cap.”

Loki nodded. “Keep him safe.”

He reached out and Clint landed in Steve’s apartment.

Loki took a few more minutes to himself to figure out what he was going to do next. He finally decided upon stopping by Bucky’s apartment to give the man an apology, and then he would vanish. 

He stepped through the worlds and took a seat on Bucky’s couch. The soldier didn’t even flinch when he stepped out of the kitchen to see Loki reclining back on the couch. He merely made up another plate and handed it to the god. They ate in peace for a few minutes before Bucky spoke up.

“You here to apologize?" Loki nodded and reached out a hesitant hand to rest it on Bucky's arm. "Look, that was a real shitty thing to do. I'm not...a weapon anymore. You can't just sic me on someone and expect me to take them out. I don't do that anymore." 

But before he could speak, there was a massive bolt of lightning and great boom of thunder down the street. He grabbed Bucky’s arm and they disappeared in a flash of green light.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading please subscribe to this series!
> 
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> 
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